It was crazy the first time I met you because I expected to have an overwhelming feeling of recognition- but it was exactly the opposite. It was a complete surprise to see you, I didn't recognize you one bit! BUT... you TOTALLY recognized me! I could tell instantly that you knew me, everything about me, and that you had waited much too long (in your opinion) to finally be with me again. You looked at me with complete knowing and I even had the impression that you were a bit put off that I was acting like I was seeing you for the first time. Often in the last three months you have given me the impression that you belong to us and that you can't believe you are finally here. I get the distinct feeling that you have been surrounded by your women predecessors who have nurtured you and groomed you for this experience of life and have helped to prepare you for what you will face. They have told you all about the women who will take care of you on earth and you are so comfortable with the women who care for you now.
Many times I catch you looking back and forth from me, to my mom, to Meg and your expression says, "Well, what are we going to do next?" Of course you're smiling when you give me a look that says I'm one of the gang so don't lose a step on my account. Just pick right back up in everything you've been doing because I'm up to speed about it all and I expect to be included. You seem to recognize and enjoy family traditions like music and clogging. You seem enthralled when you are with each of your grandmas and great grandmas. You seem to have a special kinship with women and to know and recognize the women in your life.
I have the feeling you were a very studious spirit before you came here because you haven't lost a step. You are eager to grow and progress. You observe everyone around you with great care. You seem very familiar with the life you have been given and those who care for you. You seem intuitive and cognizant and aware. Annie, you are simply extraordinary. One day I even had the impression that you are fresh out of preparation classes you took as a spirit with your cousins (Lailee and the twins). I could visualize all four of you together learning about what you would face. I could also feel that Lailee was lonely without you since she was the only one of the four of you left in the spirit world.
I also wanted to tell you of another impression I have had that your Grandpa Hadley especially spent some time with you just before you were born. I felt this way before you were born and even more so after your birth. I felt you could still see him at times during your first month and that he was saying, "That's your dad- see, I told you he was terrific. Now heal his heart just like I told you too and don't forget about my side of the family." Actually, I had specific impressions that he really did say those things to you and then I saw you smile like you had a big secret and he winked at you to remind you not to let on about it.
I also know he told you much about your Grandma Hadley. He loves her so much and he wanted to be sure you knew all the good things about her. I know this because when you were in my tummy you moved for the first time the first time you heard her voice- and you didn't stop jumping for over an hour! You also light up like a Christmas tree whenever you see her. It's like you're delighted that Grandpa Hadley was right about everything and that Grandma She She really is as wonderful as he said. A few weeks ago she was staying with us and you forgot. She came around the corner and you were so delighted to see her you gasped with pure joy! I know part of your love for her comes from him.
I know you are excited to be another link in a strong chain of women. You remind me of my mom. You seem introspective like her. You seem to understand her and know how she thinks. It feels as though you chose me and my mom and Meg as companions in this life and that we were all four of us, the best of friends before earth. You Annie, are the one that was missing. I can assure you, we were one short before you. I can also say I honestly know there is one missing after you. We have another girl who you've just left who is clamoring at the gates to join us as soon as possible. You are having all the fun and she can't wait to be with you again. I think you feel the same way.
I also think you are starting to forget a little. I feel the veil thickening between you and the spirit world with each week. I feel you settling into the blindness of life and those who have helped you transition into this life start to fade. They are starting to assume their positions of quiet protectors and observers and are starting to lesson their tactile presence in your life. They are saying goodbye to you in a way and passing you off to me. They are warning me and pleading with me and expecting me to do a good job as your mother. You are special, you are different, and they want me to know how diligent I must be and how hard I must work to guide you, protect you, and lead you. It should feel daunting, but it only feels like I've won the lottery of the greatest prize on earth. And it's the truth. You are the greatest prize on earth and the best comfort all of your angels have is in knowing I feel this way, that I have always felt this way, and that I will always feel this way. Together at last Annie Meg. To the ends of the earth. I love you LOVE YOU LOVE YOU!
Here are some picture of you from last night:
Aren't you cute in this photo! Dad and I raced to the door to see who could get to you first because we both wanted to hold you. Too bad you were asleep when we found you! Mom watched you while I worked and then she kept you while Q and I went to sign an offer for our dream house. We are so SO nervous and excited and hoping and praying that we will get the house. When we took you in it for the first time you laughed and laughed and laughed. That's how I knew it was the one. You didn't act that way for any other house! But it is not likely we will win the bid for the house and we have to wait almost a year to find out if we get it. The longer we wait, the more likely it is we will get it- but oh how unbearable that wait will be. Most likely we won't know until summer and it's not even Christmas now! How can I stand the waiting!?!
It was Steve Irwin Day (November 15th) and I'm sorry to say that you spent the day in "The Boy Outfit." My mom bought this for you before you born. Actually, she bought 2 outfits- one for a boy and one for a girl since we didn't know what you would be. It was one of only 2 girl outfits we had for you since we all thought FOR SURE you were a blond chubby blue-eyed boy and not a skinny dark-haired dark-eyed girl! You already grew out of the girl outfit and since you are so tall for your age (and weight), I am running out of PJ's for you. Boy outfit it is. I felt bad about it so today I put you in all pink with a pink bow. Also, I wanted to show you that in the picture we had been doing some serious cuddling! I just put you up on my shoulder, turn on your playlist, and we sway to the music. I tried to cement the feeling of it in my memory so it would last forever. It is the best!
Here are some pictures from today. See- I decked you all out in girl attire. I'm having to put you in 6 month stuff even though it is too big because you are so tall. Meg just loved your outfit and requested some photos of you. She is the one holding you in the photo. She loves you so so much! You always save huge smiles for her.
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